When Warriors Get Facebook
by Redstorm of Scar Pack
Summary: Let's log onto Facebook and see what the Warrior cats are saying.
1. Firestar's Wall

**Firestar: **Going hunting with Sandstorm! Yay!

**Sandstorm **likes this

**Firestar** likes **Getting Revenge on Tigerstar **and **Mimicking Crookedstar's face because he has a twisted jaw when he smashed it on a** **Steppingstone**'s page

**Firestar **to **Tigerstar**

Why do you post mean things about me?

**Tigerstar: **I post a lot of nice things about Firestar. They just never appear on my page. Weird.

**Firestar **is now friends with **Barley, Dustpelt **and **Graystripe**

**Ravenpaw **likes** My mentor is crazy**

**Tigerstar: **...

**Firestar **changed his current location to **SkyClan**

**Tigerstar: **Good. Now I know where to find you.

**Firestar: **Should I be scared because I can hear a cat typing behind me?

**Tigerstar: **Yes, yes you should...

**Breezepelt **likes **Being a Dark Forest warrior **and **WindClan Forever**

**20625** cats like this

**Heathertail **wrote on **Lionblaze's** wall:

WHAT THE HECK, LIONBLAZE, WHY DID YOU DITCH ME TO BECOME A BETTER WARRIOR, YOU SUCK I HATE YOU SO MUCH

**Breezepelt, Rowanclaw **and **Brokenstar **like this

**All comments: 2**

**Jayfeather: **Bad luck, bro

**Hollyleaf: **She's WAY outta your league

**Lionblaze **likes** Attacking Breezepelt **and **Eavesdropping**

**Brokenstar **and **Darkstripe **are now offline

**Breezepelt **wrote on **ShadowClan's **wall:

Every Clan sucks. DARK FOREST FOREVER!

**Mapleshade** and **Sparrowfeather** like this

**Jayfeather ** is now in a relationship with **Jay's Wing**

**Leafpool, Lionblaze **and** Hollyleaf **like this

**Millie **is now in a relationship with with **Graystripe **

**300 **cats like this

**Lionblaze: **Just got back from a huge battle with **Dark Forest Warriors**. Almost died. No big deal.

**Breezepelt: **You would've died if Crowfeather hadn't been there to save your skin!

**Leafpool: **Hollyleaf isn't getting better! Scared she's going to die.

**Hawkfrost** likes this

**Crowfeather **wrote on** Leafpool's **wall:

Try cobwebs to stop the bleeding

**Leafpool: **Good idea, Crowfeather. Like I hadn't thought of THAT!

**Crowfeather: **um...

**Hollyleaf **is now offline

**Crookedstar **is now friends with **Oakheart, Rainflower **and** Shellheart**

**Bluestar **is now in a relationship with **Oakheart**

**Tigerstar: **Just found a kittypet in the woods. Think I might be in love with her...

**Sasha: **YES! FINALLY YOU REALIZE I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOREVER!

**Tigerstar: **My handsomeness has proven a curse as well as a gift

**Sasha **is now in a relationship with** Tigerstar**

**Breezepelt **joined the group **WindClan**

**Mapleshade **wrote on **Crookedstar's** wall:

Crookedstar is so stupid. Getting revenge was easier than I thought!

**Crookedstar: **laugh or be scared, laugh or be scared...

**Oakheart:** So THAT'S how Rainflower and Shellheart died...no offence, but you ARE stupid

**Crookedstar **has now defriended **Oakheart**


	2. Crookedstar's Wall

**Brokenstar: **Just found out my mother is Yellowfang...SHE IS OLD!

**Yellowfang:** ...

**Mistyfoot **to** Crookedstar:**

There's someone here to see you.

**Crookedstar: **Leopardfur?

**Mistyfoot: **she's right beside you!

**Crookedstar: **Oh. Right, sorry...who then?

**Mapleshade: **Me.

**Crookedstar: **This can't be good...

**Crookedstar **is now in a relationship with **Willowbreeze**

**Mapleshade **is now online

**Crookedstar:** oh, God please don't hurt anymore cats!

**Mapleshade: **There's no one left you love, Crookedstar

**Oakheart: **Who's this crazy person your talking to?

**Crookedstar: **Never mind

**Oakheart** has been crushed in a rockfall

**Tigerstar:** Just murdered Redtail. PICK ME AS DEPUTY!

**Bluestar: **Lionheart is the new deputy of ThunderClan

**Tigerstar: **Great. More waiting!


	3. Spottedleaf's Wall

**Firestar** posted a bunch of pictures of **Spottedleaf** on his wall

**Sandstorm: **You know she likes you when you were an apprentice, right?

**Firestar:** Yeah...why?

**Sandstorm: **She's way too old for you...

**Firestar: **Um...

**Spottedleaf: **Got a problem with that?

**Sandstorm:** Keep outta this, you creep!

**Spottedleaf: **What did I do?

**Sandstorm: **Oh, let's see...YOU HIT ON MY MAN! I'LL KILL YOU!

**Spottedleaf: **When's the last time u checked that I'm in STARCLAN?

**Sandstorm: **Then I'm glad Clawface killed you

**Spottedleaf: **Firestar, how can u love this psycho?

**Firestar: **She may be a psycho, but she's MY psycho!

**Sandstorm: **awww!

**Spottedleaf **changed her relationship status to **It's Complicated**

**Spottedleaf **likes **Getting killed by Clawface **and** being a medicine cat  
**

**Spottedleaf **joined the group **I LOVE FIRESTAR **

**Sandstorm: **I. WILL. KILL. YOU

**Dustpelt: **Geez, Sandstorm, calm down!

**Firestar: **You shouldn't have done that...

**Sandstorm **wrote on **Dustpelt's** wall:

DON'T EVER TELL A SHE-CAT TO CALM DOWN!

**Bluestar** likes this

**Bluestar: **You go, girl! Stick it to the cat!

**Sandstorm** likes this


	4. Jayfeather's Wall

**Jayfeather: ** Leafpool, stop treating me like I'm handicapped...

**Leafpool: **You're blind. You _are_ handicapped!

**Jayfeather **has defriended **Leafpool **

**Brambleclaw **wrote on **Squirrelflight's **wall:

Will you be my deputy, Squirrelflight?

**Lionblaze: **why not me?

**Brambleclaw: **because Squirrelflight is HOT!

**Squirrelflight: **then I accept

**Squirrelflight** is now deputy of **ThunderClan **

**Yellowfang **and **Brokenstar **are now friends

**Brokenstar** sent **Yellowfang** a **picture of his pet turtle **

**Yellowfang: **My son needs help

**Brokenstar:** I'm glad you like it

**Jayfeather: **I'm a little blind cat, short and stout, here is my tail, here is my snout...

**Jay's Wing** and **Leafpool **like this

**Jayfeather **and** Leafpool **are now friends

**Brokenstar:** YAY! I'm a tree! (dances with moss on his head)

**Raggedstar** and **Yellowfang **like this

**Raggedstar** wrote on **Brokenstar's** wall:

What kind of tree?

**Brokenstar: **PINE TREE!


	5. Dustpelt's Wall

**Dustpelt:** OMG! WindClan just hunted on OUR territory!

**Breezepelt: **Why don't you just let it go?

**Dustpelt:** Because it was OUR PREY!

**Harespring:** WE WERE HUNTING IT!

**Lionblaze:** It crossed the border!

**Heathertail: **I still hate you, Lionblaze!

**Lionblaze **is now in a relationship with** Heathertail**

**Lionblaze: **Love you heaps, Heathertail!

**Heathertail: **Jayfeather, has your brother taken his meds yet?

**Jayfeather:** No, not yet

**Firestar:** That explains it

**Lionblaze **wrote on** Heathertail's **wall:

I still have feelings for you, my love!

**Heathertail: **Seriously, WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU TAKING?

**Lionblaze:** A whole pot of LOOOVE...

**Heathertail: **I'm NOT your love, you creep!

**Jayfeather:** Back off, bro

**Hollyleaf:** She's bad news

**Breezepelt:** And, please, go and knock yourself out (literally)

**Tigerstar:** In a hole

**Brokenstar**: Alone!

**Lionblaze** wrote on **Heathertail's** wall:

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

**Heathertail: **Somebody get this guy help

**Lionblaze: **I'll take YOUR help...

**Heathertail:** I'll defriend you!

**Breezepelt: **She'll do it! She's crazy!

**Hawkfrost:** This is getting intense...

**Tigerstar** wrote on **Scourge's** wall:

I need your help in releasing some dogs to attack ThunderClan

**Scourge:** Sure

**Tigerstar** likes this

**Leopardstar** wrote on **Tigerstar's** wall:

Um, do we get to share TigerClan?

**Tigerstar: **Yep

**Firestar:** Liar

**Firestar **wrote on** Scourge's **wall:

Hey, you know Tigerstar is a murderer, right?

**Scourge: **OK, no more battle

**Tigerstar **wrote on **BloodClan's **wall:

Um, aren't you guys gonna attack?

**Scourge: **no

**Scourge **has just murdered **Tigerstar**

**Tigerstar **is now offline

**Dustpelt: **Ferncloud's just died. Help.

**Sandstorm: **She would've died anyway

**Dustpelt **has now defriended **Sandstorm**

**Sandstorm: **someone had to say it!


	6. Tigerheart's Wall

**Tigerheart **to** Dovewing: **

can we have kits?

**Dovewing:** um, no

**Tigerheart:** but i thought you said u wanted to have kits in last hope?

**Dovewing:** I'm ThunderClan! There's no way I'd be with you!

**Tigerheart **moved to **ThunderClan**

**Tigerheart: **There. Now we live in the same Clan

**Dovewing:** I'm over you!

**Ivypool:** Well said, sis

**Dovewing:** thank you

**Tigerheart** wrote on **Ivypool's** wall:

why were you training in the dark forest

**Ivypool: **why were YOU training in the dark forest

**Tigerheart: **same as u

**Sparrowfeather:** but your tigerstar's kin!

**Tigerheart:** that doesn't mean i have to be like him!

**Hawkfrost** wrote on **Brambleclaw's** wall:

I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

**Brambleclaw: **oh, hell to the no!

**Hawkfrost: **what?

**Brambleclaw** has murdered **Hawkfrost**

**Tigerstar **sent **Hawkfrost **a **recovery pack**

**Hawkfrost: **thanks dad :)

**Tigerstar: **don't mention it. Literally. It'll ruin my street credit

**Brambleclaw **wrote on** ThunderClan's **wall:

has anyone just noticed that... FIRESTAR HAS DIED! OH MY GOD!


	7. Leopardstar's Wall

**Leopardstar:** Twolegs are invading RiverClans's land... help!

**Blackstar:** so you're living where?

**Leopardstar:** we live on the island...

**Hollyleaf:** um, so can I help?

**Willowshine:** just don't say anything to your Clanmates, please?

**Hollyleaf:** yeah, I won't

**Leopardstar** wrote on **Hollyleaf's** wall:

Can I trust you to keep your mouth shut?

**Hollyleaf:** yes!

**Leopardstar:** then you can leave

**Squirrelflight** wrote on **Hollyleaf's** wall:

DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!

**Hollyleaf:** Sorry.

**Squirrelflight:** *sigh* whatever

**Lionblaze:** Just wasted Breezepelt in a WindClan patrol!

**Breezepelt:** grrr...

**Crowfeather:** Remember, Breezepelt - ThunderClan actually celebrates mixed blood!

**Russetfur:** ThunderClan's half-kittypet!

**Lionblaze:** so? YOU were a kittypet once...

**Russetfur:** ...

**Blackstar:** how dare you say that to my deputy!

**Firestar:** Well, it's TRUE!

**Jayfeather:** yeah! Go, firestar!

**Breezepelt:** dude, you're - pause for dramatic effect - BLIND!

**Jayfeather:** so what?

**Breezepelt:** so, how can you use facebook?

**Nightcloud** likes this

**Lionblaze:** he uses Braille

**Breezepelt:** what's that?!

**Hollyleaf:** it's what blind cats and Twolegs use to read.

**Breezepelt:** what the...

**Lionblaze:** never mind

**Breezepelt:** tell me!

**Lionblaze:** you tried to kill me, so NO! #memories

**Breezepelt:** *eyeroll*


	8. Tallstar's Wall

**Tallstar:** OH MY GOD Tigerstar has attacked WindClan

**Mudclaw **wrote on **ThunderClan's** wall:

Can you help us attack TigerClan?

**Firestar:** yep

**Graystripe: **Tigerstar has my kits!

**Firestar: **don't do anything just yet...

**Ravenpaw **wrote on** Jaggedtooth's **wall:

does anyone care that I'm...HIGH?

**Jaggedtooth: **no probably not

**Tigerstar:** what are you on about?

**Ravenpaw: **you should know, your my dealer

**Firestar:** what's this got to do with attacking TigerClan?

**Graystripe: **everything

**Sandstorm: **umm...

**Scourge: **I like black cats and I cannot lie...

**Tallstar **likes this

**Brokenstar: **I AM A TREE!

**Yellowfang: **STOP USING ALL THE FRESH MOSS FOR SAYING YOUR A TREE!

**Raggedstar: **it's about time Brokenstar got a social worker

**Brokenstar: **We'll be Tree Buddies!


	9. Bone's Wall

**Bone: **just slaughtered another dog. No big deal

**Scourge **likes this

**Bone **likes** being a BloodClan warrior **and** kittypetland **

**Firestar **wrote on** BloodClan's **wall:

hey, um so will u leave?

**Scourge: **no

**Firestar: **...

**Bone **just got killed by **Ashfur **and **Thornclaw** in a fight with **LionClan**

**Bone **is now offline

**Firestar **has just killed **Scourge **

**Snake: **...

**Ice: **crap

**The tortoiseshell from BloodClan** has just run away like a wimp

**Sandstorm **has beaten up **Spottedleaf**

**Graystripe: **aren't you gonna stop Sanstorm from murdering Spottedleaf?

**Firestar:** I'm sure you can relate to liking a she-cat fight over you

**Graystripe: **no

**Dustpelt: **can't say I know the feeling


	10. Ashfur's Wall

**Ashfur: **Just found out Squirrelflight's kits aren't really her kits...

**Squirrelflight: **so what?

**Ashfur: **i'm going to say that your a liar at the next gathering

**Lionblaze: **...

**Brambleclaw** wrote on **Squirrelflight's **wall:

what does he mean by them not being your kits?

**Leafpool: **because they're mine

**Brambleclaw: **oh...

**Crowfeather: **and mine

**Breezepelt: **nooo!

**Hollyleaf: **no way are we kin?

**Breezepelt: **yep

**Heathertail** wrote on **Hollyleaf's **wall:

i feel so sorry for you and your brothers

**Breezepelt: **hey! we're supposed to be mates!

**Heathertail: **do you think anyone would believe i LOVED a self-centered cat like you?

**Breezepelt: **this is exactly the kind of crap that you ALWAYS bring up!

**Heathertail: **well maybe if we talked more, MAYBE WE'D HAVE KITS!

**Ashfur **likes** trying to kill my own apprentice **and** being over-dramatic**

**Brambleclaw **wrote on **Squirrelflight's **wall:

i still can't believe you lied to me about Leafpool's kits being ours

**Squirrelflight: **i wanted to protect her

**Brambleclaw: **sure you did

**Squirrelflight: **...

**Brambleclaw: **did anyone else know?

**Leafpool: **no, just me and Squirrelflight

**Firestar: **...

**Breezepelt: **this is awkward

**Nightcloud **wrote on **Crowfeather's **wall:

so you DID cheat on me

**Crowfeather: **i never loved you

**Nightcloud: **you ass!

**Breezepelt: **yeah! go mum!


	11. Redtail's Wall

**Redtail: **Just ate a rotten blackbird. Sick at home.

**Dustpelt: **I'll go hunting with Tigerstar instead

**Redtail **likes **being TunderClan deputy **and **Battling Oakheart in a battle with RiverClan**

**Redtail **wrote on **Tigerstar's **wall:

Wow thanks for killing me you jerk

**Tigerstar: ***purring*

**Redtail: ***eyeroll*

**Redtail **joined the groups **StarClan **and **Tag someone who has SkyClan blood**

**Firestar **wrote on **Redtail's **wall:

thanks for giving me my second life (justice)

**Redtail **likes this

**Redtail **commented** (1 comment)**

**Redtail: **thank YOU for revealing Tigerstar's true colours and stuff...

**Firestar**: okay...

**Redtail:** being in StarClan has screwed up my brain, OK?

**Firestar: **I understand

**Tigerstar: **I KILLED REDTAIL, I KILLED REDTAIL! HAHAHA

**Redtail: **jerk

**Tigerstar** wrote on **Bluestar's** wall:

I can't believe my attempt to kill you didn't work

**Graystripe: **FAIL!

**Tigerstar: **Grrr...1...2...3...

**Redtail **likes **Spottedleaf's **status update:

Just found out we have SkyClan blood...yay, I guess?

**Tigerstar **doesn't like this


	12. Rainflower's Wall

**Rainflower: **Stormkit just smashed his face on a stepping stone. I hate him now.

**Shellheart: **He's your son! You're so heartless!

**Hailstar: **He's not your son anymore!

**Rainflower: **Yeah he's too horrible to look at

**Hailstar: **I'll change his name, don't worry

**Brambleberry** wrote on **Stormkit's** wall:

I feel so sorry for you

**Stormkit **has now changed his name to **Crookedkit**

**Oakpaw **is now an apprentice

**Oakpaw **wrote on **Crookedkit's **wall:

Don't worry. You'll be a warrior soon!

**Rainflower: **Don't be silly! He's too weak

**Crookedkit **updated his status to **Feeling down**

**Shellheart: **Now look what you've done, Rainflower!

**Rainflower: **What did I do?

**Shellheart: **How dare you do this to Stormkit!

**Rainflower: **He's _Crooked_kit now!

**Hailstar: **What have I done? I am so ashamed of myself...*cries*


	13. Leopardfoot's Wall

**Leopardfoot**: Help! I'm pregnant with kits!

**Pinestar: **Just stay calm!

**Leopardfoot: **I've had the kits now, you jerk!

**Pinestar: **I was...out hunting...

**Goosefeather: **Yeah right!

**Leopardfoot: **You were with some Twolegs,. weren't you?

**Pinestar: **N-no...

**Leopardfoot: **Whatever. Help me name these kits.

**Pinestar: **Tigerkit. Mistkit. Nightkit. Done!

**Goosefeather: **That was quick!

**Goosefeather** wrote on **ThunderClan's** wall:

Hey, um, Nightkit and Mistkit are dead!

**Pinestar: **What about Tigerkit?

**Goosefeather: **He's OK.

**Leopardfoot: **I suppose I'm lucky to have such a brave, handsome kit...*cries*

**Goosefeather **wrote on **ThunderClan's **wall:

I see evil in Tigerkit!

**Leopardfoot: **There goes Goosefeather with his crazy predictions again!

**Pinestar:** Yeah. Remember when he tried to tell us the world was ending?

**Leopardfoot: **#purrs

**Pinestar **wrote on **ThunderClan's **wall:

I'm abandoning my leadership duties to be a kittypet

**Leopardfoot: **Don't you want to see our kits growing up?

**Pinestar: **Nope

**Goosefeather: **Some parent you make!

**Pinestar: **Bye, Tigerkit. You will make a great warrior

**Goosefeather: **Yeah, an extremely evil, cunning, coniving, little...

**Pinestar: **SHUT UP!

**Goosefeather: **Just go, then. I always knew you weren't up to being our leader!

**Leopardstar: **Bye.

**Pinestar **wrote on **some random Twoleg's **wall:

Meow.


End file.
